


This link we share

by Greengargouille



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 00:42:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11280177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greengargouille/pseuds/Greengargouille
Summary: Ten years after middle school, Sugaya’s daily life isn’t without trouble, like his lack of social interactions. When Mimura come to sleep one night at his apartment, he considers letting him live there temporarily.(Domestic slow burn fic centered on Sugaya and Mimura, with minor appearances of other class E students.Made for the Big Bang Event organised by ankyouweek.)





	1. Chapter 1

At 14 year old, Sugaya had a very specific vision of who would he be in the future. He couldn’t have conceived another career than being an artist : it always have been such a great part of his life, the skill for which he sacrificed so much and yet also gave him so much in return. He was made to create. 

So, surely, his middle school self would be proud to see where his life was 10 years later. 

…Excluding the impending deadline for the exhibition that was currently making him pull yet another all-nighter, because somehow, he still hadn’t learned to organize his schedule properly.

It have been so easy, during art school, to work hour after hour closed in a studio to draw, paint and sculpt without batting an eye, yet nowadays the lack of proper sleep made it tough to concentrate, his mind drifting to kinder places -notably his sweet, comfortable bed - a double size, he didn’t even have to worry about all the junk he accumulated on it, he could just lay among the sketches and notes and… No, no, he had to work, he only had a few days to complete his canvas to send it for the selection…

Sugaya had always been a fast worker, so it originally shouldn’t have been a problem. He still remember that summer, on a assassination school trip in an Island, how he had been able to produce a decent enough scarecrow in a few minutes ; he probably wouldn’t be able to reproduce this now, his way of working under pressure being different. Nevertheless, having never stopped improving his abilities, he should have been able to produce something he could be proud of in the imparted delay.  Not sit still on the newspapers-covered floor mixing paint again and again to find a color he could finally be satisfied with.

…A break. He needed to take a break.

He stretched an instant, feeling sore in his back, before exiting the room he used as a workplace. Thanks to the money he kept from back when class E was rewarded for killing Korosensei, his art school expenses have been funded, and with a bit of help from his parents, plus some of his artwork selling relatively well, he have been able to buy a small apartment. In Tokyo, it wasn’t nothing ; he had been told to reconsider and wait a bit more to invest in an house, but he had wanted his independence quickly, finding the life alone more relaxing for his flexible schedule. 

As soon as he was in view, a small, oddly colored figure appeared on the screen of his cellphone, left to charge on a messy coffee table. 

“Good evening, Sugaya-san !” Ritsu never stopped using pronouns, even after all those years. “Mimura-san tried to join you some minutes ago - he’s on his way to drop off someone near there, he would like to stop here after that.  
-Hm ? Sure, tell him to come.”  He could see it was already night outside, but on early November, that didn’t mean much. “What hour it is ?  
-Twenty-two hours past seven.” The joyous voice answered.

Oh, he didn’t see the time pass. Because he snacked a lot and ate an early dinner to concentrate on his work, he have been able to progress quite a bit, but now he understood why his mind wanted a break so much.

…Wasn’t this day a Saturday ? Was Mimura working today ? He normally only worked on weekdays, since working in large groups necessitated a good organisation, but a team still had deadlines.

…Guh, deadlines. He should stop thinking about it for the moment. Having a friend coming would be a nice distraction - due to his different life rhythm, his social life was a mess. A bit like his living room, to be honest. He… He should try to clean a bit before Mimura come. He had to admit he was much less zealous about the state of his apartment than he was with his art supplies.

Some minutes later, a ringing sound interrupted Sugaya in the middle of a precious cleaning technique of his, that is to say to take all the papers left on the coffee table and put them in a corner where they wouldn’t be too visible. He hastily finished to go open the door. 

“Hello.  
-Ah… Good evening.”

The young man on the landing stared at him in that slightly hazy, disconcerted way proper to sleep deprived individuals.

“You look like you’re going to fall asleep as soon as you will close your eyes.” Sugaya noted. “Come in.  
-You might not be too far from reality with that one” admitted Mimura as he removed his shoes in the entrance. “Though you don’t look that fresh yourself. Another deadline ?  
-In three days, still missing two paintings. What about you ?  
-There’s a place we’re booking for filming and we needed it for a month, but we’ve been given only 3 weeks, so we’re shooting as much as possible for now. Everyone’s mood is a bit on the low side.  
-Sound tough.” 

When Mimura hanged his vest on the coat rack, Sugaya had an instant of pondering on how little the man changed physically since junior high. Seeing him irregularly after high school ended meant he have been able to notice how his face became little by little a bit more adult, but else it was just all the same, the haircut he couldn’t be bothered to change because it was the easiest to maintain, the simple clothes all in hues of dark green or brown with the shirt tucked in… Technically, the man did grow up too, and during high school the height difference between them diminished by half, but somehow Sugaya had yet another growth spout and they ended up with almost the same gap as before. 

“So, hm,” Mimura interrupted his thoughts, “it’s okay if I spend the night here ? I feel like I shouldn’t drive in that state…  
-Sure, I don’t mind. Ritsu talked about dropping someone near there, it’s for work too ?  
-Yes, some of the actors don’t have a driving licence and it’s faster to go take and drop them than making them use common transports. They need their sleep, too.  
-…Is that normal for you to do that ?  
-Hm ? Well, taking care of the actors is pretty much the third assistant’s job. It’s not like, you know, that time I told you when the set designer messed up.” He slumped into the couch. “I would really hate this job if I didn’t love it.” 

Sugaya nodded silently. In the first place, one couldn’t survive in an artistic career if they weren’t driven by their passion. No, even with passion… months of switching between unemployment and small, unsatisfactory jobs could wear down even the most tenacious motivation. By now, the two of them were in better situations ; he was starting to live from what he created and not commissions that ended disastrously due to his personality, and Mimura’s circle of acquaintances in the filmmaking world was growing, something, according to him, that was very important to get more jobs. But it would still take a long time before they would be in a truly comfortable situation.

 “Do you want something to drink ? I have beer and I can make tea.” He was almost tempted to suggest coffee. That probably wouldn’t even stop his friend from sleeping.  
“Hm… tea would be great, but there’s no need to make some just for me, water will be fi-  
-No, it’s okay, I was planning to make some for myself anyways.” While moving to the kitchen, Sugaya continued to talk, his voice a bit louder. “Doing a break before starting an all-nighter. By the way, you can use my bed instead of the couch if you want to, I’m probably not going to sleep tonight.”

Tea, tea… He really needed to go do some shopping… Oh, that’s right, there was this really nice tea Yada once gave him. _‘It’s important to have high-quality tea just in case, you never know when you will have important guests_ _’_. She… probably didn’t think of a case like this, but Mimura was an important friend and technically a guest, so…

“Is green tea alright ? I’m not sure I have anything else…”

Sugaya waited an instant, but he received no answer. 

“…Mimura ?”

He took a peek in the living room from the entrance of the kitchen, slightly frowning. But his face immediately softened looking at the deeply asleep man, a pillow tightly hugged in his arms.

“Guess you choose the couch after all.”

* * *

 

Maybe it was seeing his friend so exhausted that made Sugaya aware that, maybe, he shouldn’t wait to be this tired to go to sleep, especially since the little progress he made, he erased it a few minutes later. Maybe it was the idea of waking up around the same time as Mimura and sharing a meal together before returning on his work. Either way, after a few hours struggling over a blank canvas, he didn’t fight much for his eyelids to remain open and soon drifted to his bed.

Sadly, if he dreamt he didn’t remember it. No old memory, no meaningful vision that he would feel compelled to paint as soon as he woke up or anything convenient like that. He felt a bit cheated out compared to the main characters of Fuwa’s stories.

Yet, somehow, when he put himself in front of his palette while his friend was still soundly asleep in the living room, everything seemed clearer. Twirls of vibrant yellow under touches of pink. He could conceive it. A picture with an oddly familiar vibe. 

Quickly his fingers moved.

Sugaya was already starting to put little details on the rough forms when a figure moved in the corner of his field of vision.

“You can come in, I don’t mind the company.  
-Ah, thank you, I didn’t think you would notice me.” Mimura approached while talking. “You always seems so concentrated while you work, I would hate to interrupt you. Is… that tentacles you’re drawing ?  
-Yes, the idea came to me this morning.” Strong tentacles blossoming, full of life, among cherry petals. He liked the energy of it.  
“That’s inspired by this tanka poem Korosensei once wrote, isn’t it ?  
-I… Maybe ? I don’t really see what are you talking about. How do you even remember that ?  
-Easy, it’s in the guidebook.” Of course. He should have guessed it, what isn’t in that book ? “On the topic of _‘How to give a good impression during a conversation’_ , on the category of _‘Poems and Quotes worth remembering’_. Korosensei put this poem among popular works.  
-Yeah, that’s something he would have done.”

They both smiled remembering the octopus’s antics. It would have been painful, during their high school years, to have the presence of their beloved teacher so close to them, but still a shadow unable to replace the original. Now it only felt nostalgic. Nakamura have been the first to notice it : _‘_ _Don’t you think that there are more jokes in the pages for the more mature subjects ? Like, the ones that would have mattered the most during our teenage years were more sober_ _’_. Did Korosensei thought of that, too, when he wrote those guides ? Did he predict how everything would unfold after his death, him who must have been familiar with it ? The more they grew up, the more the class E alumnus saw the actions of their former target in another light, gaining a new understanding of him.

Mimura stifled a yawn, bringing the artist out of his thoughts while his hands still moved on the painting.

“Not slept enough ?  
-Not quite, but I still feel far better than yesterday. Thank you for the night, by the way.  
-Don’t mention it, you needed it. How much time did you said you’ve been working like that ? Three weeks ?  
-Ah, no, that’s the time we got to rent a place, we’ve only been on it for one week.  
-…So you still have two weeks to go at that rhythm.  
-Unless we get at nasty surprise, yes.” Mimura used an almost fatalistic tone. “That’s the kind of things you should expect from this job.  
-…I’m glad to be an independent artist, then.  
-Hey, it’s not that bad. Sure, it’s exhausting, but you get to bond pretty closely with the crew. Sometimes it reminds me a bit of 3-E.  
-That much ?”

Those weren’t words that could be said thoughtlessly.

The link the class shared, it could hardly be described without experiencing it first. It wasn’t a matter of having spent lot of time together ; almost a year, even less for Ritsu and Itona. Since graduation, even if they tried to reunite now and them, those events weren’t a regularity. But the intensity of it - the warmth of finding a part of normalcy in this classroom, when both families and school turned their back to them, it brought them close. And the thrill and stress of assassination, it brought them closer. Running in the mountain, the feeling of recoil after firing, the weight of a knife, almost drowning in a vicious plan… _A bond formed by killing intent_ , that’s how Korosensei mentioned it once. Sugaya couldn’t imagine forming such a tight relationship with someone else without living again those experiences.

“It’s… different, of course. Nobody can share what we experienced that year, but we have our lot of hardships when filming, too. And, well, it’s important having friends in the industry, too. Sometimes it’s how you get opportunities.  
-Oh, yeah, you already mentioned that. Is this that important ? I’ve been told the same thing about the art world, but I didn’t encounter many problems.  
-That’s because you’re too talented. Someone who can produce such a wide variety of art so fast, with a constant quality ? You’re pretty unique.  
-Haha, thanks. Well, I’m grateful for that, it’s already hard to stay in contact with everyone without having to make buddies here and there.  
-You’re just not willing to put the effort.”

Ah, here it came, that familiar acerbity Mimura only used against close ones. He might not be wrong, to be honest. Sugaya found maintaining contact with people to be pretty draining, but maybe he could get used to it if he tried a bit more.

Maybe.

“Speaking of friends.” Mimura continued. “ Will you be there for Isogai’s birthday party ?  
-…Maybe ?  
-…It’s next week. The 13th.  
-Oh. I guess ? I forgot it was coming up. Wasn’t there a birthday between his and mine ?  
-Okuda, yes, that was yesterday. Ritsu didn’t tell you ?  
-She doesn’t when I’m working hard. Crap, I will send her a message when I’m done. How come Isogai decided to make a birthday party, anyways ? He’s quieter than that usually.  
-Maehara insisted. Seems like they’re getting really closer after he broke up with Okano.  
-…He what ?” Sugaya turned his head away from his painting.

If there was a topic that have been talked over and over between the former students, it would be whether Okano and Maehara would end together.

A lot of it could be blamed on Korosensei. Or, really, just all of them being a bunch of gossiping sleazebags. The specific pair would have mattered little, as long as it would have directed everyone’s attention away from their own love stories, be they real or imagined by some teasing friends. Those two just happened to be the most entertaining.

Their personalities were tumultuous together, to the point it was hard to think they were attracted to each other, yet the two of them couldn’t help but pay attention to the other. When they seemed to make efforts toward a common understanding, some unfortunate incident would destroy everything. When it seemed to be over forever, somehow they got even closer. It was so ridiculous, almost everyone was kind of glad when they finally got together. Finally they could switch topics.

And yet they broke up ?!

“Come on, that was months ago, even you should know now.  
-I don’t, I really don’t.” Months ago… They haven’t been a couple for very long, in the end. “What did Maehara do for this ?” It had to be Maehara the problem.  
“As you can guess. Caught cheating.  
-…Okano really deserved better.  
-She did. For now she seems to spend lot of time with Kimura, but I’m not sure it’s… _like that_. Anyways, after this Maehara started to spend more time with Isogai. Well, more than usual, if that’s even possible.  
-So, basically they’re living together now ?”  
Mimura chuckled at the joke. “Not yet. I wouldn’t even be surprised if it’s the next step, but then, there’s the whole case with Itona too.  
-What about that ?” Sugaya knew he wanted to get independence from his father because their relationship was getting tough for him, was that linked ?  
“In a way. Don’t mention it in front of him, okay ? But he still have lot of issues living alone after… well, you know. Isogai suggested to him to come live with him, but since he still lives with his family… I guess he didn’t want to be a burden ? Anyways, he’s living with Terasaka for now.  
-Poor him.  
-Oh, he might complain a lot but I’m sure he’s enjoying it.  
-I was talking about Terasaka.  
-So was I.  
-Oh.” Sugaya went quiet an instant before asking. “Any other news I should be aware of ? Did Kanzaki and Sugino finally got together ?  
-No, I think no matter how much closed from the world you are, Sugino would make sure you know about that one.  
-Ha, true.” The baseball player had said so many times he got over it, yet he always seemed to fell back into his old crush at each sign of affection. “…It’s a bit sad, to be honest.  
-It’s scary. I’m glad I didn’t finish that way.”

As the conversation fell down, Sugaya concentrated back on his canvas.

He knew very well what that last sentence meant. Some years ago part of the boys reunited together over beer and talked about crushes of their past. It felt pretty weird to learn of Okajima’s old affections for Hayami in front of Chiba. And, of course, Mimura’s past infatuation for the former ‘Madonna of Class E’. 

At that time, Mimura already had gotten a girlfriend.

Not someone from the class. A very nice, sweet girl, from what he remembered. He even felt a bit sad to learn about their break-up, but that wasn’t a first. Didn’t Mimura was with someone in high school, too ? For most of his comrades he would get confused, but he was pretty sure he saw that one. He remembered that feeling that took him from seeing even his close friends all trying to get into new relationships and experiencing romance. Loneliness.

Maybe it was his fault for expecting everyone to stay as they were. He had a hard time keeping up with what everyone was doing, even people as close as his own sister ; unconsciously, he hoped things wouldn’t change too much, that nobody would drift too far from the family that was Class E, and that even if he spent most of his days alone, there would always be a friend willing to stay by his side. 

“…Hey. You know, if it’s too hard for you to drive so much when you’re tired, maybe you could stay here till you’re finished with your work.  
-…What ?  
-I just thought of it, with all those talk of who lives with with who. You drive less, we get to catch up and maybe do some things together… That would be nice, no ?  
-That… I don’t really want to intrude… Besides, I would come back really late, I would almost be never here…  
-You’re contradicting yourself.  
-…Am I ? Well. Uh. Personally, it would really help me, but… you’re sure you’re fine with that ?  
-In case you didn’t notice, I am the one who just asked.  
-Yes, but… You said that on impulse, right ? We need to speak about it. Over… I guess it’s too late for breakfast. Will you be finished soon ?  
-Almost. Counting the time to clean the brushes… Fifteen minutes ?  
-That seems quick.” Mimura frowned. “But then I shouldn’t be surprised anymore, coming from you. What do you say about eating outside ?  
-Fine by me.” He was used to it after all. He never have been one to cook much when he was by himself. “Any preference ?  
-Hmm, I think it would be better if you chose, you know the neighborhood better.  
-Alright, alright, just don’t complain if my choice doesn’t suit you.”

Sugaya took a break of an instant from painting to look more closely at his work, in search of the small details he wanted to add.

Funny. He didn’t remember last time he created a picture so lively.


	2. Chapter 2

When Sugaya woke up in the early morning at the sound of someone rummaging through his kitchen, it took him a moment to understand what was wrong.

There was a problem, that much he was sure, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint it through the mist of slumber. He was awake, and according to the hour on his phone, this was a disagreement in itself, but he felt like that wasn’t exactly what troubled him.

It eventually came to his mind that the noise, discreet but too audible to ignore, wasn’t normal. Was there someone else ? He hoped that wasn’t a robber. He was quite comfortable, rolled up in his warm blanket, he didn’t want to deal with this kind of problem. Were his belonging that worth getting up ?

In the middle of his considerations, the clatter of something metallic falling on the floor resonated, followed by a soft “ _Crap_ ”.

Wait. He knew this voice.

Oh, that’s right. Mimura. Staying here. He did recall something like that. No robber, then.

Eventually, he got up, not without difficulties, and joined his friend in the kitchen.

“Good morning.” Sugaya greeted sleepily.  
“Good morning. Did I woke you up ?  
-Not at all.” A yawn interrupted him before he could ask a question. “Having trouble finding what you want ?  
-A bit, but it’s no longer a problem. I thought you would get up later, so I was looking for something to cover your breakfast.  
-My breakfast ?” He asked sheepishly.

To be honest, it’s been a while since the last time Sugaya ate a proper breakfast, probably last time he slept at his parents’ house. He woke up too late to bother with it most of the time, and after living alone for so long, cooking became an hassle more often than not. Thinking of meals, preparing the ingredients, watching the dishes… There was nobody to judge him if he spared himself the effort, and convenience stores bentos were quite well-thought and cheap enough, and having noodle cups sometimes couldn’t hurt. Out of consideration for the late Korosensei’s advices, he tried to prepare himself something at least once every two days, even if it was a simple curry or sandwiches, but doing that as soon as he woke up ? That was too much. Nakamura once suggested, over the phone, that she send him some cereal boxes as an alternative - _‘Seriously, I don’t know what we don’t eat this stuff in Japan, they have so many flavors overseas !_ ’-, but he preferred an empty stomach to the idea of the sugary treat.

The meal he had in front of him could hardly be called impressive. Outside of the rice, straight of the cooker, a few bits of rehydrated seaweed and tofu swam in a miso soup he knew was instant. The pickled plum and half-moon slices of radish were from the convenience store, and there was no meat or fish besides the egg roll. According to the standards of Japanese breakfast, this wasn’t really much.

Nevertheless, Sugaya appreciated the intention. He wouldn’t even have thought about it if Mimura didn’t think about preparing a part for him, and the act was superficial, but he felt like the day started at least a little better than he was used to.

…Something was missing, though.

He ignored the already seated Mimura who raised an eyebrow at his attention when seeing him go to the fridge.

As the plan was for him to live there for two weeks, he had brought with him, among other things, some perishables products he would rather not find expired once back at his home. Due to that, the small polystyrene containers that Sugaya sought were pushed far away to the back of the fridge. Maybe it was an intentional move : when Mimura saw what his friend brought back at the table, he used a rather horrified tone.

“You aren’t going to eat _that_ ?  
-It’s not poisonous, you know ? There are even people that eat it without liking it, just for the health benefits.  
-It’s _nattō_.” He insisted on the word as if it was an argument. “Anything that smells like that can’t be good for the body.  
-Actually, it doesn’t smell that much anymore those last years. Something to with different practices.” He recalled an article explaining the lack of ammoniac gas in recent packaging, but to be honest, he didn’t memorise much of it.  
“It better not, or I’m not letting you eat that at the same table as me.” Mimura’s face was so serious, Sugaya almost chuckled at it.  
“You would kick me out of my own kitchen ?  
-…Maybe not. But I would be very tempted.” Admitting defeat, he switched subjects. “By the way, I will probably come home late tonight, so don’t wait for me for dinner.  
-I figured it would be the case. Don’t worry, I’m used to eating late.” Sugaya started his meal after a quick “Thanks for the food” and took a few sips of soup. “I will probably finish another painting in the afternoon, if I send the photos and participation fees today, I might go buy some groceries while going out to the post bin. Do you need anything ?  
-No, I’m fine, thank you. Weren’t you supposed to make two more paintings ?  
-I could actually send just one work, but this exhibition is well known, and I don’t know when will be the next time I can participate to another one.”

Nowadays, Sugaya had enough of a reputation for him to not spend so much time on promoting his work, and he started to have recurring clients, but this was still an unreliable source of income, and he also wanted to create and sell personal works, independent of commissions. He could, eventually, ask to be in an art gallery, but those establishments would take more than half the money from the sales. Exhibitions were a safer bet, provided his work was judged good enough to be chosen, and for that at least he didn’t worry much.

“Alright, good luck for finishing then. Do you need money for shopping ?  
-No need, I’m not buying a lot anyways.” He didn’t have a car, so he couldn’t transport much groceries in one go. “Maybe next time.  
-Alright, don’t hesitate to ask. The paids for last week have been delayed due to budget problems, but I have some cash on hand.”  
Sugaya blinked a few seconds before remembering that Mimura’s job was paid to the week and not the month.  
“Don’t worry, I will tell you if I need anything.”

 

* * *

 

The following days went around peacefully. Sugaya would return to bed pretty much as soon as he was alone in the house, and the morning hours he didn’t sleep through were spent slowly, without him getting much done be it in the way of house chores or professional work, relegated to the afternoon.

While the deadline for the exposition had passed, it was far from his only one ; he had put his other jobs on the side, knowing their own time limits were far away enough to concentrate on the imminent one. He should probably be happy to get as much work, and in a way he was : other artists his age were rarely as lucky, as he could tell from his acquaintances he kept from art school. Still, he wished he could get a break, especially knowing that, sooner or later, a month would come where he would wish for any job opportunity. Even after getting used to the irregularity of his job offers, it was stressful.

As a compromise, Sugaya went on walks daily, a sketchbook and a pen on him, under the pretense of ‘seeking new material’. Sitting all day in front of his supplies wasn’t good his creativity, after all, sketching buildings and bystanders, installed on a public bench could help refuel it, or at least make sure to train his basic skills of perspective and anatomy. Still, he couldn’t get out of his idea the idea that he was just searching for an excuse to procrastinate, and that he would eventually fall back on the same situation of having too much work to do at the last minute. That made it hard to enjoy fully his moments outside.

Thankfully the evenings distracted him from his problems, and he looked forward those moments where he and Mimura would share how their day went or chitchat while washing the dishes.

Sugaya had, early in the week, mentioned never having seen one of the drama shows in which Kayano had participated. This, apparently, was considered a terrible crime ; as ‘punishment’, after he and Mimura each took their evening bath, they both installed themselves on the couch to watch a few episodes of a show in which the actress starred as the lead role. A good drama, surely, not that he would be too aware of that ; his focus scattered easily when he had to sit without something to occupy his hands. But Mimura seemed to have a lot of positives things to say on it at least, making a profusion of comments, be they on the quality of a music, an anecdote he heard on the production or how a line reference one of the actors’ precedent roles. The man was clearly so passionate about it, illustrating some of his statements with hand moves, the blanket he covered himself with falling from his shoulders. Now _that_ was interesting to watch.

Those kind of mundane moments were… pleasant. Something he could get used to. He was aware he was probably only thinking that because he had yet to experience the drawbacks of cohabitation ; were this situation lasting too long, he he would probably start to be bothered. For a few days, though ? It was nice.

And, honestly, he would accept more annoyances, if it allowed him to ride along on car travels. Definitely more enjoyable than wasting 3 hours in public transportations just to visit a friend.

‘Enjoyable’ might not be the most suitable term, actually. Usure was showing on the second-hand vehicle, and the seats proved themselves slightly uncomfy. Nonetheless, the heater permitted him to doze off peacefully on the sound full of the static the radio sputtered.

“You should think about buying a new coat.” Mimura said after a few dozen minutes of driving silent.  
“…Why the sudden advice ?”

It’s not like Sugaya couldn’t understand where the idea came from. The days were becoming chillier, that was a fact he noticed during his daily walks outside. He just couldn’t see why was this pointed out now.

“You’re sniffing a lot today. Well, not a lot, but enough for it to be notable. You don’t have a cold, do you ?  
-I don’t think so ? I didn’t notice I was sniffing more than usual, either.  
-Anyway, be careful. I know it’s hard to find clothes your size without ordering online, but at least wear a scarf and some gloves instead of pulling your sleeves.  
-It’s hard to draw with gloves, though.  
-And it’s even harder to draw while sick.” He then softened his voice. “Sorry, it’s just… There are more people getting ill lately, and you can be a little careless with those things, I don’t want you to catch something serious.”

Sugaya didn’t respond. He appreciated the worry ; at the same time, he wanted to argue on the use of ‘careless’, but he knew this wasn’t a groundless accusation. There were many things he didn’t take time to think about, and he had to admit his health hadn’t always been his priority, especially since art school.

Still, he felt that Mimura was unnecessarily fussy about it. It would be really unpleasant if he were to fall ill, but it would be unlikely for it to be truly serious to the point of seeing a doctor. Or talk to Takebayashi over the phone, at least, a less costly alternative.

He wondered if this difference in concern was in part due to their jobs. For Sugaya, being sick could potentially bring all kind of complications due to deadlines but nothing he never had been able to handle. For Mimura, however, one person sick in his team could make the whole organisation very messy, especially when a replacement couldn’t be found. A few days of work missed had a different kind of value on such a big production, when this much money and so many people were involved. At least, that’s what the artist supposed.

Or maybe it was the other way, maybe this kind of worry was one of the many things that was why Mimura was made for this job in the first place. Even when they were boys, he thought his friend seemed more socially attuned. It wasn’t that Sugaya himself didn’t care about others ; he was more than happy to help those who asked, and liked to think he was a nice person. But sometimes, he didn’t take into consideration how his actions could impact those around him. Like how, years ago, drawing on the blackboard during two lessons would bother the students who would have to clean it before the teacher came. How drawing fellow students in detail could make them uncomfortable when they discovered it. The things that made his obsession for art not just, according to teachers, an obstacle in studying, but put on him the image of a troublemaker.

“I can’t find a place to park. You don’t mind walking a bit ?  
-If I say no, will you carry me ?” Mimura rolled his eyes at the remark.  
“I could stop in front of the entrance and let you get out of the car, if you don’t mind going alone while I search for a place.  
-Oh. I would like that, actually.  
-Alright. You remember the apartment’s number ?  
-Yes, don’t worry about that.”

It wasn’t Sugaya’s first visit to Isogai’s place. Ever since he helped repainting his living quarters as the guy moved in, the number of times he came here could be counted on one hand. It left on him an impression of warmth, a welcoming place similar to its owner.

However, that wasn’t why Sugaya remembered so easily the flat’s number. Third floor, apartment thirteen. No one who lived through the moon explosion could forget such a number combination, similar to the memorable date. Especially not those who took part in a just a memorable assassination a year later.

-That’s right, there were so many children who never saw that slightly odd crescent moon nowadays. What a weird thought.-

Isogai had thought it amusing. That he would be reminded of one of the best adult influence in his life, when his family was essentially moving away from his father’s presence, abandoning his old apartment.

_‘If it was only for me, I would not have been able to move, but the heating problems are bad for my mother’s health… My sibling, too, I kinda want them to each have their own room… They try to hide that they want to bring friends home, you know ? They didn’t tell me, but I guess they’re afraid of their reactions. If I can spare them to be bullied at school, then even that expense isn’t much.’_

Such an ikemen, to do so much for his family…

The one that opened the door of the place for Sugaya wasn’t, however, a member of the household. Well, no, he was, in his own way ?

“Hello,” greeted Maehara, “nice to see you. Did you ditch Mimura on the way ?  
-Hello. Nah, I don’t want to go back by my own means. He’s just trying to find a place to park.” He promptly removed his shoes while talking, looking at all the pairs already there. He was far from the first to come.“How are you ?  
-A bit busy right now, I’m trying to make sure Isogai relax for his birthday, but he keep wanting to help me. What about you ? You seems to be sniffing, do you-  
-I’m fine, it’s okay.” Maehara too ? He hoped he wouldn’t hear about it all day. “Is everyone already here ?” The event was supposed to be strictly between alumnus from class E, and Isogai’s family left the apartment till evening.  
“Not yet. Seems like Nakamura and Kataoka are still overseas too, and Karma is… well, himself. He will probably show up later, though, even him wouldn’t miss this.” He went to the same university as Isogai, and the both of them had gotten rather friendly. “Now if you don’t mind, I need to verify something in the kitchen before Isogai decides to go take care of it himself.  
-Sure, do you need an hand ?  
-It’s fine, it’s fine, just make yourself comfortable !”

As they walked from the entrance to the living room, Maehara left his side to slip through the people, most of them turning their head at the new guest. Sugaya waved at them without approaching, searching through the groups the ones he was the most familiar with. Okajima was talking rather enthusiastically at Itona in a side of the room, all under the careful eye of Chiba. Probably. In his presence at least. The man still grew wide bangs that hide a good part of his face, and only the shape of his mouth let other guess that whatever was being said, he would rather be listening to something else. Sugaya had a vague idea what the conversation could be about ; he rather preferred to leave them be, and sought someone else.

Thankfully, he found an acceptable target alone near a table full of drinks. Kimura smiled at him as he saw him move toward him. However, as soon as the artist was near, his face twisted into an expression of worry as he noticed something.

“You’re ill.” He said without even greeting him.  
“…I’m not. Probably.” Sugaya sighed, well aware of the problem.

There have been one constant through the entire life of Kimura: if he came into contact with someone having a cold, then it was certain he would catch it. Hardly a winter passed without him getting ill - and it would last him almost till spring, when it would then be the turn of pollen allergies. Yes, he truly was unfortunate, and so became very cautious of everyone with a nose a little too red, with sneezes a little too frequent.

Sugaya thought about teasing him, but he knew how much that sucked to spend months coughing with a runny nose, and reluctantly went to meddle with another group. When it came to friends he was close with, out of those present, Fuwa was always agreeable, especially now that she stopped trying to get him to become a mangaka ; it was natural then for him to intrude on the discussion she was having with three other women.

“-even with all the work they do, some are still expected to do house chores, you know ? A fair share of them continue to be mangaka while having an happy family life on the side, but there’s a lot of retirement too !  
-No, I understand that part, I’m not saying there’s no pressure from others, I’m just saying that’s marriage itself isn’t such a negative experience.” Whatever was the subject of the discussion, Hara seemed quite passionate about it. Kanzaki, however, was content enough with listening, and was the first to notice the addition to the group.  
“Good afternoon, Sugaya-san.  
-Oh, hi Sugaya, didn’t see you there !” The others interrupted themselves to greet him. “How are you, you seems-  
-I’m fine, thank you.” He replied immediately, suspecting the incoming observation to be what he heard already multiple times in a row. “What were you talking about ?  
-We were discussing the- wait, it’s better to let Hayami tell you the news.” Hara turned her head to the silent woman, a smile on her lips.  
“…Me and Chiba are getting married.” Hayami told the information quite casually, far from the excitement one could expect from such an announcement.  
“Oh ? Congrats. That’s… surprising.”

Because the two former snipers of the class maintained a close bond, and Hayami encouraged Chiba to found his own company and worked with him, the relationship between those two was sometimes joked about. But they had denied previously being a couple, saying the dates they went together were awkward, and the way they acted toward each other just felt too professional. Even now, while announcing such an event, Hayami didn’t even use Chiba’s given name.

“Well, our parents were getting pushy about an arranged marriage and neither of us wanted to met a bunch of strangers til they’re satisfied. Plus, it’s quite advantageous legally, and it’s cheaper to just live together.  
-…So it’s just pragmatism ?  
-Not ‘just’,” corrected Fuwa, “this might be the smartest reason, I would be tempted to do the same… My parents, too, they keep saying a woman after her 25 is just leftovers and I should start thinking about building a family… Seriously, what’s wrong with concentrating on my job ?  
-They’re just worried about you.” Hara declared. “They’re probably afraid that you won’t be able to find someone decent if you don’t search now. Even I, sometimes I’m worried for some of you, you know ? Kanzaki, for example, you have such bad luck with men, what if you end up married to someone who turns out to be awful ?  
-I appreciate that you’re worrying for my sake, but please don’t.” Kanzaki gently smiled. “I don’t plan to marry any man for now.  
-What about Kayano ?” asked Fuwa. “I mean, you see her a lot, you must have talked about it with her. She must also prioritize her career, right ?” Kanzaki nodded.  
“Kayano-chan is working hard, and it would be really tough for her to marry.” Sugaya was surprised at the choice of suffixes, coming from Kanzaki. Rather than weakening, the friendship between the two women truly had grown, but he hadn’t suspected to that point.  
“That’s a shame.” Hara sighed. “It can’t be helped when having such a demanding work, and I understand that being nagged by your families doesn’t help having a good opinion on marriage, but it can be a beautiful experience, you know ?” Her eyes fell on the ring on her left hand.  
“It’s easy for you to say that,” Fuwa replied, “you planned to be the perfect wife since Kunugigaoka. And even then, you didn’t stop your job to be a housewife, now did you ?  
-I had planned to, but… knowing all that’s left to do and how everyone at the company pile up the overtime hours, I can’t feel at peace leaving them alone…  
-As expected of Hara-san.” Sugaya couldn’t help but smile at her personality, as did everyone in the group -even Fuwa, who looked slightly exasperated.

He thought for an instant that he missed an occasion to tease her on her married status, but he was too used to her old family name, it came unconsciously even after multiple years. It just was too confusing to call her ‘Yoshida-san’ when the name only brought her husband in mind. Thinking about it, he could hardly see himself call Hayami as ‘Chiba-san’, either.

…It didn’t help that those name changes made him conscious of how much time had flown compared to their teenage years.

“What about you, Sugaya ? Not planning on getting married yet ?” Hara asked.  
-Err, that’s not something I really thought about.”

He had been there for the wedding of some relatives, or even Hara’s, but it never crossed his mind as a thing he could happen to him. Even as an aunt teased him on when will it be his turn, as his sister wore the white dress, he just thought he would see when he… when he thought it would be time for him to consider the possibility, maybe ? It was for the distant future, shapeless and blurry, and so not something to linger on.

“Could it be, your parents never talked to you about it ?” Kanzaki wondered.  
“No ? It might be thanks to my sis, they were worried enough with her case. She once came home with her ‘long-time boyfriend’, a guy she never told us about, and married him like, two months later. So I guess they must be relieved I’m taking my time.  
-Even so, at your age… That’s surprising they don’t mind.” A sigh escaped her lips. “That, or I’m too used to the elders of the nursing home being invasive of my life.  
-No, I think it’s unusual too.” Fuwa replied. “You’re lucky, I wish it was as easy for me. Maybe I should marry someone out of convenience too, but I like being independent…  
-You might have to make compromises sometimes, but there are advantages to being married, too.” Hara argued, though her voice was gentle. “For example, it’s nice to have someone near you to take care of you when you’re feeling down.  
-…You don’t need to be married for that, though.” Hayami mentioned.  
“That’s true, good friends are here for that too. Especially the motherly ones like a certain someone.” Kanzaki smiled at Hara, whose cheeks turned slightly pink.

Sugaya was glad for those last remarks. He liked the reassurance in the implied knowledge of those sentences ; that the 28 of them, the whole group of former assassins, would be there for each other when they needed it. He liked knowing that this feeling was mutual, that their bond was still as important as it was in the past, and that he could count on them if he ever got in trouble.

…Not that he planned to.

 

* * *

 

Of course.

Remembering his thoughts he had two days ago, Sugaya couldn’t help but think he almost deserved it.

When he felt warm and tired yesterday, he hadn’t been that worried. He had just hoped he had wrongly guessed the reason for this problem. But, as he was now covered in sweat, unable to leave the bed, he had to admit.

Despite all the warnings, he still got a cold.

Of course.

He didn’t felt he had been really careless, though. Maybe. Or it was already too late when everyone asked him about his health. It was hard to ponder about it in detail. His mind was already used to wandering on something else when he stuck too long on the same thing, but now that he got a fever… He was unable to focus on anything.

Yet he wasn’t able to sleep. Maybe because he was too uncomfortable, the blanket sticking to his skin, too hot, or because he had already slept for so many hours. It was useless to try, no matter how much he wished for it, bored as he was.

Being sick really sucked.

On his night table, the screen of his phone, tilted due to the lamp placed behind, regularly lit up and down as Ritsu periodically checked on him. She had tried to distract him with some music, and it might had worked for a while. That is, until some weird songs came up. Something Chiba had handed him. An indie Japanese punk band. Something like that.  His head still hurt from it.

Trying to read would be even worse. The book by his side was left unread since forever. _The picture of Dorian Gray_. He had borrowed it from Hazama, who spoiled him gleefully with a ‘ _I’m warning you though, the artist die at the end_ ’. How was he supposed to read it knowing that ? And unlike what he had thought from the summary, it had little to do with painting. How sad.

He had nothing else to do but look at the ceiling. He couldn’t work. He couldn’t bore itself to sleep.

…He wished Mimura was there.

The man had told him this morning he would try to get home early today. Sugaya had thought his friend might try to tease him for falling ill, or at least show some annoyance as he didn’t hesitate to do in such situation. Yet, nothing. Just firmly pushed him to go get some rest. According to Ritsu, he had already asked multiple times during the day for the state of the artist.

It would have been nice to call him, even if Sugaya knew better than interrupt him at work. He wanted to be a little selfish and have the other’s attention for himself. Let him speak over the phone of everything and nothing at the same time, just to hear his voice till his eyelids closed by themselves.

It was strange, in a way. If Mimura hadn’t spent those last days here, he probably wouldn’t have such thoughts. Being reminded how enjoyable could it be to live with someone can make someone less tolerant to solitude, was it this sort of feeling ? Ha, probably not. It was hard to keep a continuous line of thoughts while sick, so he couldn’t come up with any other possibility, but that couldn’t be it.

That couldn’t be the case, because Sugaya would soon be alone once again.

That could absolutely not be the case, because then… when life will go back to its usual…

…He would feel really lonely, wouldn’t he…?

 

* * *

 

Cold.

There was something cool and humid against his forehead. Refreshing. What was…? When he touched it with his fingertips, it had the texture of a towel, yet it’s as if it was just covering something harder.

A washcloth…?

“Slept well ?”

As he opened his eyes, Sugaya turned his head to the unused side of his bed, toward the familiar voice. Mimura was sitting on the floor, a pile of papers in his hands, with the giant sketchbook the artist usually kept on his bed now installed against the wall. Tidying up the room, probably. Because he had tendencies toward waking up in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea that couldn’t wait morning, Sugaya had accumulated doodles after doodles, that he didn’t always store away once morning came ; as he didn’t move much while sleeping, the mess that spread even over the blanket didn’t bother him much.

“Wait…You’re home ? …What hour it is ?  
-It’s already past ten. I’ve been here for a while.” He could almost hear the hint of a laughter in the man’s voice. Even though he had so much trouble falling asleep, to think this would happen… “How do you feel ? You think you could eat ? I prepared some rice porridge.  
-I’m not really hungry.” He sat down, taking the washcloth to look at its content - cubes of ice, unsurprisingly. “I can try to eat a bit though.  
-It would be better for you to recover, yes. I will bring you a bowl. Do you need a tray ?  
-No need to bring me anything, I can-  
- _stay in bed_ , as should any sick person.  
-I’ve already been in bed all day, I can still get up for a meal. And a bath, I kinda need that with all the sweat.” Sugaya complained. “Besides, I was thinking… we could still watch an episode tonight ? Like usual ?  
-Alright, alright, you win. Ah, but we don’t need to be in front of the TV to watch anything - especially if you’re going to fall asleep midway.  
-What you’re suggesting, then ?”

 

* * *

 

The suggestion, as it turned out, was to use Mimura’s computer, the laptop between them at knee level as they were sitting on the bed. In the pitch-black room, the dimmed-out screen played the same episode as they watched yesterday, as Sugaya only remembered somehow half of it - and wasn’t more successful this time, to be honest. The moments where Kayano- where Haruna Mase appeared stuck out from her acting, bringing chills to her former comrade as her face conveyed emotions he could barely understand from the pieces of context he had.

He didn’t mind how the story didn’t make any sense for him - as long as he wasn’t required to actively participate and didn’t get an headache from the display of colors and sounds, he would have watched pretty much anything. Having someone by his side, and doing something together. That’s what he had longed for during the whole day.

It’s only as the end credits rolled that he noticed how Mimura was asleep, despite being still seated, the blanket under him and his arms crossed on his chest.

He must have been really tired. There was no way he wasn’t, given his work. But he accepted to stay awake a bit later, or at least intended to, just to spend some time with Sugaya. The man appreciated the gesture.

Gently, he tapped him on the shoulder, till his friend woke up, blinking as he was remembering where he was.

“Slept well ?” Sugaya smirked at being able to return the question he was asked some hours ago, even if the sentence was too common for Mimura to link the two events in his drowsy state.  
“Only a bit.” Even his voice was full of sleepiness, the words half-muttered. “Sorry. Didn’t meant to.  
-No problem, it’s fine.”

Neither of them moved, both of them watching the computer, now showing its screen saver- a black and white illustration from some recent drama show. Sugaya didn’t want to put an end to the night, not when he knew that another set of hours wide awake awaited him ; and Mimura was probably too sluggish to feel like standing up.

“…Your bed is comfy.  
-Probably more than the couch anyways.  
-Pfft, right. Next time I need to borrow a futon instead, my back will thank me for that.  
-Is it that uncomfortable ?  
-It’s… okay. But I wouldn’t exchange it for a proper bed.”

They fell back into silence, but they couldn’t only drag the moment for so long. Eventually, Mimura would need to go to sleep - even if that was on the couch, it would still be appreciated to survive the long day of work tomorrow.

Yet, Sugaya couldn’t bring himself to push him. Even if it was only to listen to his breathing, feeling his weight stopping the blanket from being pulled, the warmth in the space between them… It eased him. The presence near him was comfortable.

After a few minutes, he suggested.

“Sleep with me.  
-…I’m sorry, what…?  
-Sleep in my bed.  
-No, the bed part I could guess, it’s the… no, nevermind. You really mean sleeping, right ?  
-Well, if you’re up for a deep philosophical conversation I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t recommend it.  
-Right. What I was thinking. But… you’re serious ?  
-I waited for you a whole day, is it that weird that I want you to stay with me ?  
-You…”

Mimura didn’t complete his sentence, instead pondering the situation. After a few minutes without a word, Sugaya even wondered whether he felt asleep again, but then came an answer.

“Alright. For this night.  
-Great. Do you need a blanket for yourself, or…?  
-Unless you can’t share, I’m not getting up for a blanket.  
-Haha, fine.” He let the man settle in a more comfortable position, before finally telling him. “Good night, Mimura.  
-Good night.”


	3. Chapter 3

“And to Sugaya’s success, cheers !”

Sound of glasses full of liquid colliding resonated  within the living room. The artist had received a message to inform him his painting had been chosen by the jury for the exposition. To celebrate this, he had invited a few friends at the apartment for a drink during the end of this week. While Okajima and Chiba were sitting on the couch, Kimura was content staying on the floor, despite Mimura offering him to take his chair. 

“I wondered for a while if I had done the right choice for the works to send, I only heard of a name among the jury, and let me tell you, it’s not a nice one, like… one of those ‘elites’ that only swear by the old masters, you know the ones ?  
-Yeah, I see what you’re talking about.” Okajima nodded. “Even if you know what you  _could_  send to them for them to accept, you gotta have some pride, ‘ _this is what I want to do and if you don’t like it then too bad for you_ ’, right ?  
-It’s good in theory, but you need to be able to sell your works too.” Chiba muttered in a tired tone.  
“Uh, well, I guess it’s hard for an architect to take personal liberties with their work. At least that’s a problem I won’t have, there will always be people to buy gravure magazines.  
-You say that, but it took you a long time before you became a regular for them…  
-Man, being an artist seems so tough.” Kimura looked at them, his glass full of juice instead of beer like the others. “I don’t think I would be able to do this…  
-That’s okay,” Okajima replied, “ I don’t think I could be a police officer either. Be proud of what you’re doing instead ! Here, let’s do a cheer for Kimura, too !  
-If you’re using excuses like this to drink, you will get completely wasted by the end of the night.  
-It’s fine, it’s fine ! If I’m too drunk to go back home, I can still sleep here !… Wait, no, the couch is already taken. Don’t even know how you can spend two week on this, bro, that’s uncomfortable as hell.”

Mimura did a great job of not looking embarrassed as he raised his glass to hide his face.

They didn’t talk about it, but Sugaya understood very well that the two of them sharing a bed, no matter the circumstances, wasn’t something to mention to others. He himself felt a tad sorry about the event, insisting for his friend to sleep besides him as if that was the most natural thing in the world. That was… childish.

Sure, it could be excused by the fever. It was just one night. Nothing they couldn’t ignore.

And, well, if his fever was much milder the next day, it was still only normal they took precaution and installed themselves in Sugaya’s bed, just in case he fell asleep. The resulting night together was an awkward consequence of this, but they could justify it. 

The third night, though ? Not so much.

He didn’t even know how this was possible. If Sugaya though there was a problem with that, there was no way Mimura wasn’t freaking out about the situation ; yet the man had made no comment about it. He instead had carefully sidestepped the conversation, even let himself be convinced oddly easily- and it could be really hard to convince Mimura to do something he didn’t want to, Okajima’s failed tentatives to include him in a weird project of his was a proof of that. 

It wasn’t even that spending the night together was that great in the first place. Sure, it feel more comfortable to have someone Sugaya trusted near him. But Mimura had cuddling tendencies that would be fine if they were directed against a pillow, instead of the  _blanket_  that was pulled into some weird ball of cloth he clung to. And then he complained that Sugaya rolled over his side, something that would naturally happen to any sleeping person seeking cover from the cold. Yes, it was Mimura’s fault if he ended pushed near the border of the bed. He could only blame himself for falling on the floor.

Sugaya wondered if, in fact, his friend accepting so easily to share a mattress was just a form of masochism.

“Yes, I have to admit that the couch was really uncomfortable.” Mimura blurted the words in a way that could almost pass off as normal.  
“Was ?” Kimura noticed. Mimura stiffened at the remark. “You’re not going to sleep here tonight ? Ah, that’s right, you only stayed for two weeks.  
-Yeah, I… actually, I didn’t really plan whether I would leave this night or tomorrow.” He threw a glance at Sugaya. “Thanks, anyways. For letting me stay.  
-You’re welcome.”

Sugaya thought of suggesting him to stay a little longer, but decided against it. He didn’t dislike the idea, but this needed to be thought carefully, and this wasn’t the kind of discussion to bring over in front of others.

Because Mimura was a guest and a friend, he had refused the money the man wanted to give him in compensation ; though, in the end, Mimura ended up buying some items while he was ill, and similarly refused any cash for fuel as he helped Sugaya transport his paintings to the gallery by car. However, those kinds of deals would bite them in the long-term if they weren’t careful, as neither were particularly rich. Even if neither would prioritise money over their relationship, they had to be responsible about it.

Plus, if this current arrangement was fine for a short period, it’s not something that could last. Surely Mimura might need to bring more clothes, and maybe he wanted some time alone too. Sugaya knew he also needed moments for himself to concentrate on his job - he might have lot of time in the afternoon, but he was used to work till the late hours of the evening, and his body was adapted to it. It was harder to focus outside of his schedule, and he felt restless when he stopped too early.

They would need to talk about the bedding too. As it was said, the couch was too uncomfortable to sleep for weeks on it, so they needed an alternative. Now, whether that alternative was the same as they did those last three nights…  
  
Yep, it really wasn’t the kind of discussion to have in front of friends. 

* * *

“That can’t be happening.”

It’s been a good half of an hour that Mimura muttered things of this kind, his nervousness visibly growing as he was pacing through the apartment at an accelerated pace. The agitation was starting to make Sugaya restless, too. This frustrated him.

“Are those documents that important ?” 

After their friends went home, Kimura driving the other two back safely, Mimura had suddenly noticed he had lost something. On the moment, Sugaya didn’t think the search would last more than a few minutes, and so decided to wait before handling the famous subject of Mimura’s departure, even tried to help him find the precious stack of papers. Something to do with work, apparently. 

Yet, as the time passed, no sign of the precious documents. Sugaya could feel Mimura getting impatient, and that was influencing him, too. He could understand, once having an urging problem in head, it was hard to concentrate on anything else. But, it was the same for him. He would have liked to settle this choice of whether his friend would stay, and not have the stress of the upcoming conversation weight his mind. However, his attempts to speak of that were cut short by a  _‘Not now, I need to focus’_.

“Yes,  _yes they are_ , my whole organisation depends on it, this could mess up  _weeks_  of work, I can’t afford to lose those.” 

There was a faint note of anger mixed in Mimura’s unsettled tone, which grated on Sugaya’s ears. He couldn’t help but hear that as a mark of aggression. Toward him. This was really, really frustrating.

His friend was usually handling stressful situations way better than this. So this must be something really important. That this irritated him, Sugaya could understand. But he refused to be a casualty of this. Few things could make him angry, but unfair treatment was a very fast way to piss him off.

“Yet, you can’t remember where you put it.  
-I remember  _exactly_  where I put it, and it wasn’t there. That’s how losing something work.  
-And you’re sure you’re not misremembering ?  
-Look, I searched anywhere where I could have put it, so it’s not just a memory problem. And I can’t have left it at my apartment, I clearly remember putting him on the table.“ Mimura pointed at the coffee table near the couch. “I thought that maybe someone moved it away to make place for his drink, but they couldn’t have brought the paper with them… Do you think ?” He looked incredibly anxious at the idea.  
“…Wait, on the coffee table ?  
-Yes… Why, do you have any idea where it could be ?  
-Maybe, wait a minute.”

It was Sugaya who cleaned the table before their friends came. He hadn’t paid much attention on the moment, just went through the usual method ; taking everything on it and put where it wouldn’t be cumbersome nor immediately visible to any guest.

The small corner behind the wall and the bookshelf had a variety of objects hastily grouped together, and the multiple papers among them hardly stood out. Yet, once focusing on it, it was quite easy to sort out from it an ensemble of sheets stapled together, the whiteness of the paper indicating it was quite recent compared to whatever else what in there. He really should think about cleaning this mess at some point.

“Is that it ?” He raised the document to eye level in Mimura’s direction.  
“…It looks like it ?” The man approached to verify, taking it into his hands, almost in disbelief. “That… was unexpected.” His brow relaxed as relief ran through his face.

But his expression was soon replaced by irritation.

“Wait, so you’re the one who moved it?” The sudden hostility startled Sugaya.  
“I… Yes, I did move it, but it wasn’t intentional ?  
-Oh God. I was about to go back at my place to check and be sure it wasn’t actually there, but no, turn out that you… How could you even do this ?  
-As I said, it wasn’t intenti-  
-That’s not what I mean, you saw something that was obviously to me and moved it like that, without thinking at some point that I might want to be warned beforehand ?”

 It’s as if all the anxiousness Mimura had just experienced turned into irritability as soon as the problem have been solved. Irritability toward Sugaya.

“So it’s my fault now ?”

Yes, he had some part in it, and in another context he would have felt bad about the whole thing. This was unfortunate, but this happened sometimes. But the aggressive tone his friend used was as if he had done it deliberately, out of malice. Taking his sweet time to give back those documents. 

“I was just cleaning, how could I know it was so important ? I mean, you just left it on the table !  
-And it would be too much to just ask or at least warn me ? ‘Hey, Mimura, I’m moving your stuff right now, is that okay ?’ That would have hurt you ?" 

He hated it. Being made the guilty party for doing something perfectly normal. Maybe it was said due to the stress, but even so, was that a reason ? He wasn’t the root of all of Mimura’s problems, he just… he moved a paper, the error was justifiable, and besides it was already found back !

"I don’t heard you asking for permission every time you use something here, either.  
-Yes, that’s really comparable. Excellent argumentation there. I don’t see what I thought of it sooner.” What, sarcasm now ? And why wasn’t it valid ? “Anyways, this wouldn’t have happened if you actually cleaned, instead of just… moving your mess somewhere where people won’t see it !  
-It's  _my_  place, I’m allowed to clean as I want to!”

The sheets of paper wrinkled under Mimura’s grip. Oh, he was right to be tense like that. He knew what buttons he should not push, and now he made Sugaya angry.

“…Yes. You can do as you want in  _your apartment_." 

There was something to the way he insisted on the last two words. A sensation that Sugaya could only feel as hostility. They looked into each other eyes with a palpable pressure in the air, with a few instant of silence that Mimura broke again :

”…I guess I’m being too invasive, asking things like that to you. I suppose I don’t need to ask you about staying here ?  
-I’m not…”

He was twisting his words, creating meanings out of thin air. Was he doing this on purpose ? To antagonise him ? Was that a fight he seeked ?

“…Oh, fuck it.” Sugaya was fed up with the whole attitude. “If you want to go away that much, then do it.“

It came out harsher than he intended.

No, he had perfectly intended this. Somehow that still surprised him.

Mimura blinked a few times, taking a moment to digest the order.

“…Fine.”

* * *

To the man’s credit, Mimura was awfully calm as he reunited his belongings. It went really fast, too. Sugaya had never noticed it, but his friend had been cautious to not spread his stuff too much, his toothbrush in the bathroom, his computer on the bed, almost nothing outside the bags he came with. On the moment it annoyed Sugaya, without really understanding why. If he even had a reason. The inverse situation would have grated on his nerves just as much.

It’s only when he was about to leave that Mimura stopped, already wearing his shoes, his eyes fixated on the door.

“…Thank you for letting me stay.  
-…You’re welcome.” Sugaya might have been a tad too aggressive in his answer. “Goodbye.  
-Goodbye.” 

And it ended just like that.

This was… unsatisfying. Like a painting that, midway through it, turned out way less impactful than it was supposed to be, but still needed to be finished, and each move of the brush felt tedious.

He wasn’t used to it. Getting angry, sure, like everyone, but not at Mimura. He couldn’t say this never happened, of course. It just was too far in time for him to remember clearly. 

They should have separated more properly. Those two weeks felt spoiled in retrospect, with such a conclusion. All that fun, wasted. Just thinking about it, Sugaya was uneasy.

…Tea. He… he needed a cup of tea. Relaxing, thinking of nothing. No anger, no annoyance, no bitterness.

He entered the kitchen, ready to go through the usual motions, but interrupted himself from opening the cabinet when he saw a cup resting on the rack.

Ah, that’s right, Mimura made a fuss about it. Sugaya’s fingers rested over the teacup, ready to grip it yet hesitant to do so. He was reminded of a scene of those past days.

_He was leaning against a wall at the kitchen’s entrance, watching Mimura pouring water in the used mugs._

_“You don’t have to wash them now, I will do it with the dishes for dinner._  
-No, it’s best to wash them right away. You sure you want to do the dishes today ? I don’t mind doing it, after all you’re letting me stay.  
-Well, you’re a guest, so…  
-I should still participate, you’re already doing the cooking, isn’t it normal to share the chores ?  
-…Let’s just say the first to finish eating will do it.” 

_Things like that, when to wash mugs or who should do the dishes… that didn’t seem enough of a deal to argue over, so Sugaya didn’t bother. Cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry… He had gotten bad habits while living alone ; now that he had to do the chores properly it felt tougher to manage, so he was a little thankful for the other man’s help._

_Besides, he liked seeing him like this. Viewing his back as he slightly leaned over the sink, his shoulders relaxed, made Sugaya feel…peaceful. He wasn’t sure why, but the vision of Mimura doing housework and acting like he was starting to feel at home was soothing him._

It didn’t seem like a memorable moment, yet it was stuck in his head with vivid details, right down to the folds in Mimura’s rolled-up sleeves and the concern in his voice as he spoke.

…That’s right, how could he not have noticed.

From the start, Mimura felt like he was intruding on his life, didn’t he ?

Hesitating to stay. Helping in the ways he could. Keeping his belongings ready to be packed, so he could leave as soon as he was asked to leave.

As soon as Sugaya asked him to leave.

…Ah. So that’s why it hadn’t sit well with him. This unpleasant feeling at seeing how fast he was. From the beginning Mimura was prepared for this to happen, as if Sugaya was the kind to be easily frustrated at his friends, easy to anger and displease. 

…Well, no matter how much he could disprove this was his usual attitude… In the end, that’s how he acted, right ?

He couldn’t help but think that Mimura had his share of faults in how the things unraveled. But now that he was calmer, he had to admit. He could have done things better, too.

A cup of tea… Right now, he needed something entirely different.

* * *

If it had turned out that his graduation book he searched for a whole fifteen minutes was the whole time in the same pile of junk that started it all, Sugaya might have felt really guilty about his cleaning methods. Fortunately, it just had slipped under his bed, maybe due to a time where the man had browsed through it and put it on the floor, then pushed it to make some place for something else.

He had forgotten how big it was. It was worth saying it after so many years, but Korosensei truly was a monster, to casually create a monumental list of advices. Even half the condensed index took a number of pages in the double digits.

With so much preparation, of course the octopus teacher had things to say on such a common problem as Sugaya’s.

_‘How to solve a dispute, Part Five: The Aftermath.’_

Neatly divided into different categories according to the kind of person was the other offended party, from hierarchical superior at work to a family member, including cases such as the cashier at the convenience store, an annoying guy who shared a common friend, and a stranger you just bumped into on the street.

…Because Sugaya’s first reflex in this case was to check through this book he would conveniently have in his pocket at this moment. Of course. What did Korosensei thought.

He searched for the word  _‘friend’_  written in bold characters, when his eyes met instead the category for  _‘partner’_. Uh. This wasn’t really his case. But then, maybe friendship was too vague, too… not strong enough of a word ?

…Nevermind, there was also a part dedicated for  _‘people you’re intimate with’_. Thank you, Korosensei, forget what he said a instant ago.

_‘While frequent disputes may be the sign of a deeper problem, being in conflict once or twice with someone you spend a lot of time with is normal, even among close friends ! The important is how you choose to deal with the situation once it calmed down.’_

The commentary stretched over a dozen of paragraphs, that Sugaya read multiple times to assimilate fully.  _‘Effective communication’. ‘Clear away any misunderstanding’. ‘Pay attention to what the other is saying’. ‘Do not blame or accuse each other’. ‘Explore any underlying issues’._  So many things to think about… He had to admit, he had hoped for a step-by-step solution, but he guessed that would be asking too much.

 He wondered whether he should call Mimura right now. The man might want some alone time for now, after all. Or be with someone else, for all he knew he could have went to a friend’s place. Would that make things worse if Sugaya tried to call, though ? Solving everything by phone seemed wrong, but at least to try to contact him and met somewhere.

He compromised with a text message. Mimura could pretend to ignore that. It was a pain to wait and not know when or whether he would get an answer, but that was the less invasive method he could think of.

_‘Hey. You forgot to take some stuff to eat. I was thinking of ordering some food, anything you want ?’_

Was that too insensitive of the situation ? As if he tried to ignore what happened earlier. What if Mimura had stopped at a convenience store and already ate ? Or read the message hours later. He would probably ignore it then. Bad move. He should have thought about that.

Surprisingly, the answer came only a few minutes later. 

_‘I’m already home, I don’t feel like driving back.’_

_‘Then, is it okay if I come ? It might take a while, though.’_

Because he answered immediately, Sugaya thought that Mimura must have seen the message. It still took a moment before he replied.

_‘Pizza, then. It’s been a while.’_

_‘_ _Cheese and Mushroom for me, btw.’_

_‘Noted, I’m leaving the house now’_

* * *

Sugaya had forgotten how small Mimura’s studio was. The entrance led directly on the kitchen, and the way on the main room could easily be cut if someone forgot to close the door to the bathroom. The owner of the place took his bag away from the only chair here and put it on his bed, suggesting with a move from the head to his friend to sit here.

All the words he thought about on the way here were starting to slip away from his mind.

Perhaps it was better, then, that Mimura was the one that started.

“Sorry. For earlier.  
-…Ah ?  
-I… I shouldn’t have lashed on you. I mean, you… No, you were trying to be helpful, it’s not your fault. Anyways, hm. Sorry.  
-That’s… it’s fine.” Sugaya was a bit taken aback. He had been prepared to begin the conversation, not the other way. “I have excuse to present too. For getting… you know. Angry.  
-It’s okay, it was understandable given the situation.  
-Still. And for…” He took a deep breath. He knew he just had the sentence in mind, why wouldn’t it come out ? “If I made felt you like I didn’t want you around. I’m sorry.  
-…That’s fine. Even I know I’ve been around a bit too long.  
-That’s not true.” Sugaya frowned.  
“It is. We… I felt happy staying at your place. I knew I was pushing the limits of the acceptable, but… even so, I stayed.  
-…I was happy too. With you being there.” More than he had expected. At the start he might have agreed that this couldn’t last long, but he grew too fond of this situation. “You know, I… I wanted to… Before the whole… thing, with your documents. I wanted you to stay longer. I mean, I wanted to suggest to you to stay longer.  
-…Oh.” Mimura smiled, in an apologetic way. “Guess I blew that up, uh.  
-Well, I don’t think right now, it’s a good idea. In the first place, I didn’t consider your perspective of things at all.  
-….You mean ?  
-You -I want to know how you feel about the whole thing. About staying over with me.”

Mimura pondered the sentence, not daring to look at Sugaya in the eyes. Then, slowly, he spoke with hesitation.

“If… If you want me to stay around, then…  
-No.” At the surprised, the hurt face of his friend, Sugaya immediately realised how what he he said could be interpreted and corrected himself in a panicked hurry. “I don’t mean I don’t want you around, it’s… I want you to answer me without considering those things. How you truly feel, independently of what I might be thinking on the subject.  
-That’s…  
-Look. Didn’t I told you that if I needed anything, I would tell you ? I want you to do the same. Not hesitating on whether or not that would bother me.” Mimura looked at him with confusion.  
“…Wait, wasn’t this over groceries ?  
-…Yeah, but, my point still stands. If you have anything you… well, maybe ‘need’ isn’t really the most appropriate word here. Anyways, I think… I think you should be more… That you shouldn’t hesitate to say what’s on your mind, I won’t… I won’t think lower of you if you act a little more selfish ? Aw, that’s not really…” 

Sugaya stopped blabbering and took a deep breath, before asking straightly.

“Mimura, please tell me how you feel.”

* * *

This was such an unfair request. At least, that’s what Mimura wanted to tell him. Of course he wanted to know Sugaya’s opinion beforehand, wouldn’t he felt guilty if he imposed himself and turned up to be a nuisance ? 

It was much easier if Sugaya invited him first, even if Mimura wouldn’t want to come back. Saying something is possible but not doing it is much different from asking for something that turn out to be impossible.

Well, the way the conversation turned, he would guess that his friend wasn’t opposed to the idea, but… that might just be wishful thinking on his part. After all, if Sugaya really did want to have him around, why wouldn’t he just tell him ? Did he thought Mimura would felt pushed to accept against his will to live longer together ?

That wasn’t it, that wasn’t the case at all.

If Mimura hadn’t wanted any part of this, he would have said it.

His dream job involved dealing with lot of different people to create a work full of his own personality ; sure, it required to be considerate of others and do compromises, but this wasn’t something he could achieve by letting other shove him around. Sugaya could trust him a little on that point instead of suggesting he wasn’t bold enough. Ah, that might be Mimura’s interpretation of things, though. He should put words out in his friend’s mouth, especially considering how said friend hated that.

But, really. In those last two weeks, there was nothing Mimura had felt forced to do. Helping for housework or cooking, he might not necessarily like those, but it didn’t felt bad when it was for someone else.

 Even sharing a bed, he…

When Sugaya had told him he had waited for him the whole day, it moved him. Knowing that as long as he was living there, he would not return to an home where no one expected him to come back to. That someone wanted him.

 That  _Sugaya_  wanted him.

 …In the platonic sense of the word.

It didn’t matter, to be honest.

Mimura had met a lot of people, both during his school years and at his work. He went through new friendships and got girlfriends. He had his heart broken and observed relationships fading away. Both felt incredible to experience, and both felt terrible to end.

That’s why, it didn’t matter. Friendship or romance. They were of equal importance to him. Either way, Sugaya was the most important person for him out of all his relationship. Receiving a proof of his affection made him incredibly happy. Happy enough to indulge in sleeping near him, knowing fully well he would regret it.

It was also because Sugaya was so important to him that it hurt so much when he had seemed to reject him. He had feared that would happen, and the only way to ease his worries was to be ready to leave at the first sign of conflict, keeping his belonging packed, not daring to get too used to the place. But it still hurt.

“I care a lot about our relationship.” Mimura spoke gently, weighting each word before pronouncing them. “I can’t decide this alone.” He expected Sugaya to interrupt him, but he quietly listened. “Of course if I had the choice, I would stay with you. But… if you don’t care about it… If this link we share don’t matter to you, then I’d rather live by myself.”

His voice was so low on the last words, he almost wondered whether they were audible. 

Sugaya didn’t reply immediately. Just some seconds of silence, that seemed to stretch forever.

“…I want us to live together.” His mouth stayed open as if he wanted to add something, but couldn’t find the words. “Not just two weeks or a month.” He paused, hesitating. “Sorry. I can’t really promise those feelings won’t change, or that I will never get angry at you. But I mean it. I want us to live together.”

 This answer could have been handled better, surely.

But, there was one thing, one little thing that Mimura almost missed.

_‘Us’._

Not  _‘I want you to come back’_  or  _‘I want you to live with me’_. 

_‘Us’_.

“…Should we try it, then ?  
-Let’s try, yes.” 

Sugaya smiled at him, one of those shy smiles where he tilted his head on the side ; as far as Mimura remembered, he always had this habit, even during middle school. He replied with a smile on his own.

“…That’s being said, I think we have a problem.  
-…What ?  
-My night table,” explained Sugaya, “it’s a gift from a friend, I think he made himself. I’m not sure where we will find a matching one for your side of the bed.  
-What… Is that seriously the first thing you… No, in the first place, why do you assume I want to sleep with you again ?! …Wait, that sounded wrong.” Sugaya laughed at his confusion.  
“I was just joking, we shouldn’t rush those kind of decisions. Should talk about it. Maybe while eating, too, I don’t remember, do you have a microwave ? I think the pizzas must be cold by now.  
-I do, pass them, I will reheat them.”

Now that they switched topics, Mimura had to admit he did felt hungry. The few snacks they ate with the drinks weren’t really filling, and it was already late when Sugaya sent him a message, so with the time it took him to order something and come with public transportations… Would Sugaya even be able to take a train before the stations closed for the night ?

…Well. If Mimura was to live at his apartment, he could let Sugaya sleep over here, just for one night.


End file.
